Shego's Day Off
by Ace Ian Combat
Summary: It's Shego's day off, so you know that chaos is sure to follow. Just how hectic will her day off get? Oneshot. FINISHED!


Shego's Day Off

Disclaimer: I don't own K.P. and Co., and I'm pretty sure that Jim and Tim Possible would have gotten a patent for the portable Silicon Phase Disruptor by now, so I don't own it either. Middleton Space Center/ Dr. James Timothy Possible own the Hephaestus Project, and some government agency on K.P. owns the Centurion Project. I believe the Incredible Hulk is owned by Marvel Comics, I can't be sure.

DYK: Kim and Ron are both suddenly wearing helmets and goggles as soon as they open the door and exit Heinrich's snow vehicle.

QOTC: "NOW I HAVE MYSTICAL MONKEY POWER!" Yori, from G-Go's UNION, Ch. 23.

Here's Shego's Day Off, just like I said in Kim's Weird Day. Hot off the press! (Not literally.)

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Shego walked into the kitchen of the lair wearing a green tee shirt and a pair of black jeans with green flames on the legs. Drakken was sitting with his back to her, dressed similarly, only blue instead of green.

"Morning Dr. D. What's the evil plan for today?" Shego asked opening a cabinet.

"No evil today. It's your day off," Drakken said, not turning to Shego. Shego smirked.

"Afraid Possible is going to kick your back...," Shego stopped, holding a plain white mug. Drakken turned around.

"Shego? Put that down! It's my favorite mug!" Drakkne exclaimed. Shego stared at him, then dropped the mug on the floor, shattering it. She lit her claws.

"I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice. She advanced on Drakken and blasted his chair into sawdust. Drakken hid behind another chair. Suddenly Shego just stood there, her claws going out. "Hey, what was I talking about? And what did you do to my chair!"

"Must be termites again," Drakken said, fearing that telling her what happened would cause a relapse. He grinned sheepishly at her.

"You weren't trying to mutate termites again, were you?" Shego glared at him while speaking.

"No, not at all! Why?" Drakken asked.

"No rea...," Shego said, stopping suddenly. She started shooting plasma energy bolts at Drakken, crisping the ends of some of his hair. Drakken squealed like a little girl and ran into the hall. Shego's aim is really good, as we all know, plus Drakken can't dodge to save his life. This left him with a hot seat, literally, as Shego shot him on his backside. Drakken, of course, did the reasonable thing and stopped, dropped, and rolled. Right into the fire in the fireplace. Shego stopped just as suddenly as before. "Dr. D., you are aware that you are on fire, right?"

"Yeah, no duh. Mind getting the fire extinguisher?" Drakken asked, while rolling back out of the hazardous fireplace.

"Can't. It's my day off," she responded, watching him bump into things in pure amusement as he rolled around.

"Shego, please be reasonable!" Drakken exclaimed as he hit his head on the coffee table.

"Fine," Shego replied as she fetched the extinguisher and squirted him with it, careful to get the foam up his nose and in his mouth which was screaming bloody murder. Once the fire was out, Drakken spat out the foam and glared at her. "What?" Drakken shook his head. He would never understand women, especially one with so much vindictive spite directed at him seventy-five percent of the time. "I want a raise."

"May I ask why?" Drakken questioned while wiping foam off his shirt. "This was my favorite shirt." Shego mumbled something about everything being his favorite and nothing hers. Drakken glowered at her.

"I broke my nail picking up the fire extinguisher for your emergency," Shego seethed, brandishing the fire extinguisher threatingly. Drakken ignored this obvious threat on his life.

"Like I said before, I break mine all the time. Grow up," Drakken replied nonchalantly. The next minute he found himself staring into the blank green eyes of Shego before being forcefully slammed into the wall, his feet a few inches off the ground.

"Mind repeating that?" Shego asked, her glowing green hand inches from his face. He gulped and shook his head no. "Didn't think so." Shego dropped him. Somehow, Drakken just knew he was going to have a big, ugly, purple bruise on his arm later today from where it hit the stone wall.

Drakken splashed water on his face. 'What is wrong with her?' he thought as he placed a bandage on the cut on his forehead from his unfortunate run in with the coffe table's side. 'Shego just keeps trying to kill me. That is so wrong.' Drakken gazed at himself in the mirror before turning around and exiting the bathroom. "I hate the color blue."

Drakken watched some TV, trying to figure out what was wrong with Shego. She hadn't been acting weird until today, so something must have happened to her either this morning or last night. He could rule out Moodulator, she hadn't been very emotional, it was very unlikely that she had an unknown disease. He vaguely wondered whether her powers might be affecting her mental functions, but he pushed it from his mind. It wasn't like her powers were a pathogen or a naturally occuring substance. Well, they were since they came from that comet, but they weren't from Earth. Still, there was a extremely small percentage of a chance that they could be causing the problem. Then something Shego said stuck in Drakken's mind like a broken record.

"I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice. "I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice. "I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice. "I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice. "I have been ordered to destroy Dr. Drakken, " Shego said in a cheery voice.

"Of course! Why didn't I see it right then!" Drakken exclaimed. He rushed to the control room. He ran the tapes from the cameras outside Shego's window and Shego's door. She had consented only after Kim Possible came in through her window one time. He played them back to twenty four hours ago, then ran them on fast forward, searching for any difference, other than when Shego entered her room. Finding nothing, Drakken slumped down in his chair. There had to be some way Shego was either brainwashed or put under mind control. He hated to sink to it, but he really was stumped this time. He pressed several buttons on his control panel, and waited for the call to go through. Several rings passed before the sound of someone picking up was heard.

"Hey K... Drakken! What do you want?" Wade demanded. His demeanor had changed instantly when he realized it wasn't Kim. He snarled at the blue man at the other end of the screen.

"Cut out the theatrics Load. Look, I need your help. Something's wrong with Shego," Drakken said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, maybe it's because you work her too hard, Lipsky," Wade sneered. Drakken ignored him. "Fine, Drakken."

"It's her day off, that's why I need your help. I think she might be brainwashed or under mind control, and she's trying to KILL ME!" Drakken shouted the last part. Wade stared at him, then burst out laughing. Drakken glared at him as Wade fell out of his chair and started having a chortle seizure. Wade regained his composure about ten minutes later, but he was still hyperventilating.

"Oh, that's just too rich. Other than Shego, who would want to kill you. You are no threat to anyone," Wade responded at last as he wiped several tears from his eyes. Drakken huffed.

"My last plan was smart enough to wipe out most of your room, wasn't it?" countered Drakken. Wade's grin dropped. He mumbled something, but Drakken caught it.

"Yeah, but only because you stole the technology from Kim's dad. If it was your technology, it wouldn't have lasted four seconds," Wade murmured.

"Just because you think I'm an incompetant ninny doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Now, will you please help me before Shego finds me and turns me into fishbait?" begged Drakken.

"Fine, but you're also forgetting that she may also be hypnotized. And I don't think you have to worry about Shego finding you. Later!" Wade exclaimed as he shut off the frequency. Man, no matter what, he definitely didn't want to be Drakken right now.

"Wait, Load, get back here! Oh!" Drakken said as he slumped back down into his chair. He jumped up from it in the next second.

"Need a little help?" Shego whispered as her hands started glowing. " I could give you a deadly massage." Drakken gulped.

"Uh, that's not necessary Shego," Drakken stammered.

"Why were you talking to Load?" she asked. Drakken looked around nervously, severely hoping for the first time that Kim Possible would burst into his lair and haul him and Shego off to prison. At least there they would have different cells.

"I, uh, uh, needed, uh, him to, uh, uh, get me a, uh, a portable Silicon Phase Disruptor!" Drakken breathed a sigh of relief as Shego let her hands stop glowing. Drakken was also praying that Wade Load was hacking into the cameras and watching Shego.

"Isn't that the thing that stops the affects of the neural compliance chip?" questioned Shego. Drakken nodded. "You better not be messing around with those things again! If I find myself und..."

"Shego?" asked Drakken. He grabbed a chair in case it was needed. Not to hit Shego with, but to hide behind since Shego was blocking the way out of the room. She quickly disintegrated the chair. Drakken gave off a whimper before Shego kicked him in the stomach. 'Come on, Load, I need you this time.' Drakken thought as he thudded against the control panel. Shego picked him up by his collar, and flung him into the door. Drakken scrambled to regain his footing as he ran out of the room. Drakken ignored all other doors as Shego ran after him. Being in better shape, it was a miracle she didn't catch him and beat him to a pulp. It was also a miracle that she wasn't able to fry any of him this time. He finally was able to get to his room, and he slammed the door behind him.

"DRAKKEN, WHERE ARE YOU! I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO SUSHI WHEN I FIND YOU!" Shego yelled as she roamed through the hallways. Drakken gasped as she past by his door. He breathed a sigh of relief as Shego continued onward towards the kitchen. Drakken slid down the door.

"I am so dead the next time she sees me," Drakken muttered. He heard several henchman run through the hall in fear and the screams of those who were unfortunate enough to be hit by Shego's wrath.

"Come on, just because she zapped your leg doesn't mean you can't get away, and me and the boys aren't carrying you," one of the henchman yelled as a loud thud was accompanied by a flash of green underneath Drakken's door. He winced as several more bangs were heard.

"Poor souls," Drakken murmured. He hoped they would be alright. He couldn't afford the insurance premiums. Plus the cost of hiring new henchmen was vastly underated as being low.

-Meanwhile, Wade Load's room-

Wade watched the events unfold on the hacked camera. His view was blocked, however, as a henchman was judo thrown into the camera. The fury of Shego was unparalled to anything Wade had seen before, save when Ron had brought Kim home ten minutes late for her curfew. Wade flinched as Shego hit another unfortunate soul who had been trampled by the pack of fleeing henchman. 'Oh no, oh please no, don't do that Shego.' Wade thought, but too late, Shego put her hand through the camera like it was confetti. "Maybe Drakken was right for once. Better get Kim to give Drakken a portable Silicon Phase Disruptor stat. I'm gonna try to keep scanning Shego until she breaks all the cameras in the joint." Wade quickly relayed the information to Kim and Ron, and, though they had their doubts about the whole thing, agreed to help, once they got portable SPD from the twins. Still, it would take three hours for them to get to Drakken's lair, hypersonic jet or not.

-Back at Drakken's now henchmen abandoned lair-

Drakken was still hiding out in his room thirty minutes after being caught talking to Wade Load. The loud booms and bangs had long ago ceased to rock the lair, but Drakken wasn't taking any chances with Shego being in the area. He was about to venture out of his room when something happened that made him reconsider.

"DRAKKEN! I'VE FOUND YOU! QUIT COWERING IN YOUR ROOM!" Shego yelled. Drakken was about to dive under his bed when Shego's fist came crashing through the door right above. Green glow filled the room as Drakken sat petrified beneath her fist. Suddenly, the door just grew around her arm. "YOU CAN'T STAY IN THERE FOREVER DRAKKEN!" Shego screamed as she pulled her arm out of the metal door. Drakken wiped a drop of sweat off his face, and silently thanked the inventor of the Centurion Project and, though it pained him to admit it, Dr. James Possible for inventing the Hephaestus Project. He also thanked his brain for the idea to mix them together with diamonds because diamonds, though extremely hard, were almost impenatrable against Shego's hands, and the regnerative properties of the two projects would rebuild the diamonds to keep him safe from the female version of the Incredible Hulk that now prowled the corridor outside his room.

"I am so dead," Drakken muttered. His stomach growled loudly. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't had anything to eat since supper last night because Shego had kept him from having breakfast. "Either I'm going to die by Shego's hands, or I am going to starve."

"Dr. D.? Are you in there? What happened to all the henchmen?" Shego's voice called through the door. Drakken jumped. That was not the rage filled voice that had attempted to pulverize him a while ago. It was one of innocence, at least at much innocence Shego could have being a villianess.

"Yeah, I'm in here. Shego, are you...alright?" Drakken responded. He grimaced in case a barrage of assault hit the door. None did.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" Shego replied. Drakken relaxed. She was back to normal... for now. "So, why did you lock yourself in? Did the henchmen revolt?"

"No, no, not at all. They, uh, had a party and sort of trashed the lair before leaving," Drakken lied. He heard Shego punch the wall and flinched back towards the bed.

"And you just let them do that!" Shego roared. "You better be the one cleaning it up!" Drakken gulped behind the door. That last episode of mind control or whatever it was had lasted a lot longer than before, and they would probably keep getting stronger. It also appeared that it caused Shego's temper to rise when she was normal, too, but then again, with Shego you can never tell. He pondered this for a moment. "Dr. D.? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Shego. I'll be out in a moment," Drakken replied. Drakken quickly wiped his face of the many particles of sweat, and, perhaps unwisely, exited his room. "Now, I'll clean up the lair if you want." Shego stared at him. Drakken braced himself to either duck or run, or maybe both.

"Are you feeling alright, Dr. Drakken?" Shego asked as she approached him and placed the palm of her glove on his forehead. He flinched under her touch, but she ignored it. Drakken shrugged her off.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Now, it's your day off, why don't you enjoy it?" Drakken suggested. Shego gave him an odd look, then went into the kitchen. "I'll make you some bacon and eggs if you want." Drakken called after her. She reappeared in the doorway a second later.

"Now I know something is wrong with you. Did one of the henchmen beat you up or something?" Shego asked, concern on her face. That was her job, and no stupid henchman was going to take it from her.

"Oh no," Drakken stated. She reentered the kitchen. 'If you call yourself a henchman, then yes, I did get beat up by a henchman.' he thought darkly.

'Something's wrong with him,' Shego thought. She pulled out a frying pan. She hadn't had breakfast for some odd reason, and now it was two in the afternoon. Shego froze, then she crept up to where Drakken was in the other room. She swung the frying pan down just as he turned around and dodged.

-Outside the lair, peeking in through a window-

"So Wade was right. Dang. I thought I had him that time when he said Shego was trying to kill Drakken. Wade is never wrong," Kim mused as she watched Shego deliver a sharp swing of the frying pan onto Drakken's foot.

"They're acting like a married couple!" Ron exclaimed in a whisper. Kim rolled her eyes as she finished her granola bar. "I wonder what color skin their children would have." Kim gagged. Ron shuddered.

"Ron, could we talk about that later? I just ate my candy bar, and unless you want it all over you, I suggest you keep all mentions of Shego and Drakken having kids to totally less than minimal," Kim hissed. Ron stepped a few steps back. If having a extremely angry Kim was bad, if Shego heard them, then it would be double trouble. He should know after the Moodulator incident. "Now, let's just get this portable SPD to Drakken so we can bolt."

"Aren't we gonna help him with Shego?" Ron questioned. Kim glared at him.

"Not a chance. This is our way of helping him," Kim responded. Ron shrugged. The two turned back to where Shego was still trying to maul Drakken with the frying pan, but now he was trying to ward her off by shooting... cologne in her face? Shego choked and dropped the frying pan. Unfortunately for her, the frying pan was in her arms above her head, so naturally gravity took effect as Shego K.O. herself. This was when Kim and Ron enter the scenario. Kim tossed Drakken the portable SPD from the window. "Here. Wade modified it so it would effect her if she was brainwashed or hypnotized too." They were gone the next second.

"I hope this works," Drakken stated as Shego started to come to. She stared at him for a second, then lit her claws and advanced toward him. He jabbed the button on the device. Nothing. More pushing of the button followed by nothing, and Shego was getting closer. "Nothing's happening! Why is nothing happening!"

"Dr. D.?" Shego asked. He nodded. Shego suddenly doubled over in hysterical laughter. "GOT YOU!"

-Wade Load's room-

Wade, who was another camera in the lair and hoping the device worked, splattered his sode everywhere and fell out of his chair for the second time that day due to another fit of chuckles.

"Oh, that was rich. Way to go Shego," Wade said. He hadn't expected Shego to pull a prank like that.

-Back at the lair-

"SHEGO!" Drakken yelled.

The End.


End file.
